10 Questions to Ask Your Doctor Before Giving Birth

When you’re preparing for birth, it’s easy to get caught up in what to plan - your registry, your hospital bag, your playlist. But what’s equally (if not more) important is who you’re planning it with.

One of the biggest factors shaping your birth experience is the provider you choose. And here’s the thing: not every OB or midwife will align with your preferences - and that’s okay. The important part is figuring that out early so you have time to make changes if needed.

That’s why I recommend having these conversations in your second trimester, before the final weeks of pregnancy when options start to narrow.

If your provider isn’t a good fit for your birth goals, the earlier you know, the easier it is to switch. (And yes, you can change providers late in the game - but it’s much less stressful when you don’t have to.)

Once you’ve clarified your hopes and preferences, you should also go over your birth plan with your provider. This isn’t just about handing over a piece of paper—it’s an opportunity to ask,
“Are these wishes possible within your practice?”
“Are there any hospital policies that might conflict with my plan?”

A provider who’s confident in their care and respects your role in decision-making will be open to these conversations. If they brush off your questions or say things like, “We’ll just see what happens,” take note - that’s a red flag.

Below are 10 questions I encourage all my doula clients to ask to open the door to honest, collaborative care.

1. What is your general approach to birth?

Start simple: “How do you recommend I prepare for labor? What do you think I can do to help things go smoothly?” This will help you understand if your provider sees birth as a natural process to support or a medical event to manage. Their response can reveal whether they’re more intervention-minded or hands-off—and whether that feels right to you.

2. What are your cesarean and induction rates—and why?

Every provider has different numbers, but the key is understanding why. Ask:

• When do you usually recommend induction?

• What signs tell you a cesarean might be necessary?

If your provider casually mentions inducing for a “big baby” or simply because you're reaching your due date, that’s a yellow flag. It doesn’t automatically mean they’re the wrong fit, but it’s worth exploring further.

Also check the cesarean rate of your hospital - this gives you context about the birth environment as a whole.

3. What happens if you’re not available when I go into labor?

Doctors can’t be on call 24/7, so ask:

• Who would attend my birth if you’re unavailable?

• Can I meet the other providers in your practice?

• Are there differences in their approaches I should know about?

Knowing your backup plan before you're in labor can bring huge peace of mind.

4. What kind of support will I have during labor?

Ask how often your provider checks in during labor. Will they be present throughout, or just at the end? Who else will be involved - nurses, residents, midwives? And importantly: Do they welcome doulas as part of the team?

5. Do you support movement and upright positions in labor?

Being upright, walking, or using positions like hands and knees can reduce pain and help labor progress. Some hospitals still default to keeping patients in bed - so ask whether you’ll be supported in moving, using a birth ball, or even laboring in the tub. Some other things to consider asking about are how long they will “allow” you to go past your due date, how long they “allow” you to labor after your water breaks, what they consider to be a true “stall” in labor, and their approach to continuous vs. intermittent fetal monitoring.

6. What’s your policy on eating and drinking during labor?

Evidence shows that light nourishment during labor is safe and helpful. Still, some hospitals restrict this based on outdated policies. Find out what’s allowed, and ask if exceptions can be made if needed.

7. What are your thoughts on pushing positions?

If your provider only delivers babies with the patient on their back, that’s worth questioning. Ask if they support squatting, side-lying, or using a birth stool. Your body may instinctively prefer a position that isn’t “standard.”

8. How do you help minimize tearing?

This opens the door to talk about episiotomies (which are rarely necessary), as well as strategies like perineal support, warm compresses, and letting you push with control. Their response can reveal whether they prioritize patience and prevention.

9. What’s your routine for newborn care immediately after birth?

Do they support skin-to-skin contact right away? Delayed cord clamping? Will baby stay with you or be taken for exams? Knowing what to expect can help you advocate for those precious first moments.

10. If my birth doesn’t go as planned, how will we make decisions together?

You want a provider who respects your voice and communicates clearly under pressure. Ask how they approach unexpected situations and whether they’ll talk through all your options instead of defaulting to a “doctor knows best” approach.

You deserve a provider who listens.

Remember, this isn’t a test or a checklist—it’s the start of a conversation. A good provider will be open, collaborative, and ready to help you make informed decisions, not dismiss your preferences.

If you're pregnant in Central Iowa and feeling overwhelmed, I'm here to help:

• Book a free doula consult – we’ll chat through your birth goals and how I can support you every step of the way.

• Thinking of skipping a birth plan? Check out this podcast episode on why I think it’s so important.

Birth is unpredictable. But with the right provider—and the right support—you can feel ready, informed, and confident.